if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
