So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
