peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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