I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
