we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
