Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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