omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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