please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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