Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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