So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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