Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize