return my video game
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize