I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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