At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize