My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
