I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
