I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
