I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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