My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
