Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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