Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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