my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize