Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
