That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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