You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize