she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
