we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
