just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
