We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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