And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
