even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
