Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
