Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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