It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just cut my nipple shaving
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dick very happy bro
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
