you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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