Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
