I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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