Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
