Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
