I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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