Screwed.edu
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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