I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
