i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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