ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
organizing the empties. That sober.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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