I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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