a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize