I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
