Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
bring money and cleavage
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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