Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Come share oat with me in your robe
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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