Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
