Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
