he thought i was a dude.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
