You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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