I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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