i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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