That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
