Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
ugly people sure do ruin things
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
