Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
