My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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