just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is the high leading the old right now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
