Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize