I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
