Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize