I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
